The “reconnect”

Another blast from the past:

A strange improbable yet inevitable postscript to almost every dating encounter – whether it be a relationship that faded off or ended decisively, short- or long-term – is the “reconnection.” You know, it’s when one person from a relationship that’s been dead for weeks or months makes contact with the other person. They send a text message, leave a voicemail, and all of the sudden they are back in your life, attempting to reconnect with you on some level. Even if you both know there is no chance that you’ll hook up or go out again, one of you will eventually want to reconnect. Sometimes you genuinely enjoyed each other’s company as friends. Sometimes you just feel bad about the way things ended and can’t deal with being thought of as an asshole, so you want to smooth things over. Sometimes you can’t remember why things ended in the first place and you really DO want to see if you can “reconnect.” And sometimes I even think it’s boredom…….you find yourself thinking of that person and you don’t know why.

I’ve only attempted the reconnect once, with a very hot guy that I dated very intensely for one month. Very abruptly he stopped calling and I didn’t feel like stalking him, so I left it alone. About 4 or 5 months later, I randomly emailed him with a really funny, short message, and, to my surprise, he wrote back! He said he had been thinking of me and maybe we could get together for brunch or something. We in fact did have brunch a week or two later, and it was nice to see him. I even got to see his dog, who I obviously missed more than the guy! Nothing ever came of the reconnect, and I still can’t figure out why either of us wanted to reconnect…but I should have known that the intensity of that month could never be replicated, especially over brunch months later. Some things are better left in the past.

The “reconnection brunch” was two years ago! But I still keep this guy’s number in my phone. And last night he appeared in my dream….