Last year I posted a blog about my penchant for using fake names in bars…usually it’s some regular name that i want to try on for size, and sometimes it’s a more exotic name (like “natasha”). Well, recently I decided to try passing off the most ridiculous fake name there is: BAMBI. Several factors were involved: 1) excessive alcohol consumption and 2) the “bet” factor: I had bet my friends that I would successfully become “Bambi,” and if I won I got to see an embarrassing video of them doing a horrendous lip synch of the Bloodhound Gang’s “bad touch.” during college.
It was surprisingly easy. I quickly identified a group of late-twenties professionals as my targets and made my way into their group. Sadly, I don’t remember what exactly we were discussing for most of the evening (they liked “Bambi” so much that they kept buying her shots), but I do remember that they called me “bambi” continuously throughout the evening and that one of the girls I was out with kept calling “Bambi” back over to their group, which no doubt added to the legitimacy of the whole deal. The only slip-up was that I had failed to prepare a fake occupation for Miss Bambi, and my current occupation (non-profit consulting) was not at all Bambi-esque. At this point, it was pretty clear that the guys knew they were being played, but played along anyway because they got plenty of entertainment out of it; I even got a business card and a job offer from one of the men to do fundraising work for his company! That was even better than getting to watch the awful lip sync video.
The lesson here is that you have more fun if you don’t set out to meet your soul mate in a bar. Keep expectations low, because in a bar it’s all about the game. Do you really think you’ll meet your ideal mate randomly at a bar? I am pretty certain that I won’t, since the very few guys who approach me are the really aggressive, pushy ones who I wouldn’t seek out on my own, and with whom I’m not really compatible. I figure that if it’s my soul mate, he’ll forgive me for not wanting to give my real name to a stranger in a bar and will accept and grow to love my real name–so long as I tell him the truth prior to our first date! As for me approaching men, I can’t recall a time when I’ve done that; that’s mainly due to my shyness and partly due to the fact that I’m still a little old-fashioned when it comes to dating.
But all is not lost. First of all, bars are great places in which to practice flirting. No, I did not say “bars are perfect places in which to try out your best cheesy one-liners”-there is a difference! Flirting is best when it comes naturally, but perfecting your own personal flirting style is an art that only gets better if you practice it. Second, there is the very real possibility that you will meet an intriguing, attractive new friend of a friend/acquaintance at a bar. This person is pretty much pre-approved as being a quality individual since your friend is friends with him/her, and there is a good chance that you will have more in common than just the one friend.
Don’t forget to keep in mind that, aside from these few positive scenarios, the bar scene is a meat market largely populated by drunk, lecherous men and women who, like me, are more amused by giving a fake name and/or fake phone number than bringing themselves to utter the words “I’m not interested.”
In our defense, telling the simple truth has often backfired, thus prompting women to use these tricks. For example, I’ve found that for the countless time that I’ve looked someone right in the eye and said “Sorry, I have a boyfriend,” it’s not seen as a valid excuse by the average hopeful suitor in a bar. Guys will respond by spending the next 10 minutes trying to convince you that you’re unhappy in your relationship, your boyfriend is inferior to them, that going on just one date with them is better than being single and alone, etc. Given this reality, it’s no wonder that I opt for becoming “Bambi” instead….plus it’s more fun!
Virtually Single 